Mindless Stupidity until transfer period ends

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by HatterDon, Aug 31, 2012.

  1. HatterDon

    HatterDon Moderator

    Mar 18, 2006
    Peoples Republic of South Texas
    I don't usually copy and paste, but here we go. sorry if you've all seen it.

    If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

    If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) (I already have 2 bombs)

    The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

    A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (O.M.G.!!!)

    A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.(Creepy)

    (I'm still not over the pig.)

    Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Don't try this at home; maybe at work.)

    The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home . What the...?)

    The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

    The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

    Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still can't believe that pig ...quality over quantity.)

    Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

    The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm.......)

    Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

    Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing.)

    A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)

    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (Saying nothing about Pettyfog.)

    Starfish have no brains. (Saying nothing about Pettyfog here either..)

    Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

    Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)
  2. shinerbockguy

    shinerbockguy New Member

    Aug 6, 2007
    I feel much smarter after reading that................:)
    Thanks - I needed to get away from Transfer Deadline Day, only so many Tums one man can eat.

    .....good to see HD is still on these boards. It's been a few years, Don - and a few Luton heartaches for you I'd guess - since I last popped in. Actually had to 're-register.'
  3. Clevelandmo

    Clevelandmo Active Member

    Sep 13, 2007
    Thanks for the much needed laughs on my drive to Harrisburg, PA. Had to leave the pig parts out when reading it to the kids,
  4. HatterDon

    HatterDon Moderator

    Mar 18, 2006
    Peoples Republic of South Texas
    It has been a very long time, good sir. I guess you got paroled recently [my best guess as to where you've been]. In any case, glad to see you here and hereabouts!
  5. SCFulhamFan

    SCFulhamFan Active Member

    Aug 5, 2006
    The Mad Hatter strikes again and lightens the mood on what for some could be a great day and some could be a terrible day in the transfer window.

    At least the Hatter "isn't off his tea" just yet. Thanks again Don.
  6. SoCalJoe

    SoCalJoe Well-Known Member

    Sep 5, 2006
    Walnut, CA
    I now know what to tell the person in response to the expression 'when pigs fly' :shock:
  7. dcheather

    dcheather Administrator

    Jul 29, 2005
  8. pettyfog

    pettyfog Well-Known Member

    Jan 4, 2005
    Okay.. now that was GOOD! I'll ignore the starfish crack*.

    However... having raised and observed pigs, and being old and human. I guarantdamntee any male mammal that has continual 30 minute orgasms AINT doing it for pleasure.
    At least the boar aint... though I had noticed a few sows staggering away looking smug.

    * And I'll also ignore the impossible physics related to the energy actually contained in a continuous fart of that length. Cause my brain is smaller than an ostrich eye.. thus I'll defer to Al Gore on that. He thinks windpower is almost free.
Similar Threads: Mindless Stupidity
Forum Title Date
Miscellaneous Stupidity OTD May 17, 2010

Share This Page