Grillin' Out Season

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by pettyfog, May 31, 2009.

  1. pettyfog

    pettyfog Well-Known Member

    Jan 4, 2005
    It's time for those backyard get-togethers again and as every year, the question arises.. what and how do I fix for my Vegan and Vegetarian Friends.

    Bill Archer brought this up on BS Crew NSR, when he asked..'Do You REALLY Like Soy Burgers?'.
    Well, it doesnt matter much if we LIKE them or not, it's only good manners when you have someone over, to fix what THEY eat and eat the same yourself. Some people have sensitive feelings and dont like to feel left out. Besides when you compromise like that you validate their lifestyle choices, and they feel much better about their level of self-esteem. could even save 'em a session or two at their shrinks.

    Anyway, I posted on there some tips on grilling SoyBurgers so everyone can enjoy and I figgered you guys might use them too.

    I've had a few pretty good ones, there's a secret to it though. You have to load 'em up.

    Here's the simple secret:
    Marinate with Worcestershire or A-1 {not the same at all: I cant stand A-1 but some prefer}. Else a really loaded up Oil/Vinegar based salad dressing.
    - Best marination method:
    Fill pressure cooker with 1-2 inches marinade. layer patties. attach lid.
    Remove air from cooker with vacuum pump or brake bleeder tool. If you have an HVAC guy next door maybe he'll loan you the pump. A Vacuum removes all air from patty.

    Then either heat cooker till pressure builds to 5 lbs OR Better - attach air compressor and build pressure to ten lbs/sq in. No more or cooker might explode and you'll have to start all over. The compressor {bike pump in a pinch} is better because it doesnt 'precook' the patty. {Soy curd is a delicate flower, ya know}. Allow to rest under pressure one half hour minimum. the marinade will infiltrate the patty where the air was before.
    - Note: If principles of this confuse you, see wikipedia on 'Pressure treated Lumber' It's why deck lumber tastes totally different even at the center than a regular old 2x4. Paint, stain, even sealers.. not so much.

    Remove patties from cooker and drain. If salad dressing was used, pour into decanter for the salad. If Worcestershire or A-1, pour back into bottle. {No, it's not contaminated.. we're talking 'veggie', here!}.
    Press plenty finely chopped onion and/or garlic into patties. Use that tenderizer mallet thingy at the back of the drawer.

    Start Grill, heat to max. Sear both sides till dark brown. Pattie juices now sealed in. Remove from grill and turn down to low. Wait ten minutes. Grill patties till inside reaches 130 degrees {it's NOT meat, remember}.
    While patties grill, slice onion, tomatoes, pickles. Get out the Mustard {Dijon, of course.. you DO support Obama, right?} Also ask guests if they want Cucumber & Okra slices {They ARE vegans!}.

    Get out the beer and other drinks.. suggest a West Australian white for the vegans.

    Tell guests: Come and get it.

    For your soyburger, douse with more A-1/Worcestershire, add liberal catsup, or just Dijon, get your secret stash of fresh crispy bacon, throw on 4-6 strips and load it with all the fixin's you got!

  2. Clevelandmo

    Clevelandmo Active Member

    Sep 13, 2007
    RE: Grillin

    'Fog, I'm hoping this is a joke. How do you get the air out of soy patties if they be soaking in 2 inches of marinade? Who would go to this much trouble for vegans?
  3. RidgeRider

    RidgeRider Member

    Jan 5, 2008
    RE: Grillin

    Plus if drink soy milk you may grow mammaries, and lose other important male functions. :shock:
  4. SteveM19

    SteveM19 New Member

    Sep 30, 2007
    Cleveland OH
    Re: RE: Grillin

    I hope someone does. I love vegans.

    More steaks for the rest of us :banana:
  5. HatterDon

    HatterDon Moderator

    Mar 18, 2006
    Peoples Republic of South Texas
    I'm glad that 'fog's looking out for the Vegans. You do have to know what to grill for your guests. It's just tough trying to skin and dress a 350 lb. 24-point Tofu. And what do you do with the hooves?

    Like my brothers, I'm a fully paid up member of PETA [People Eating Tasty Animals]. I love my veggies, but they're best sharing a plate with a good steak or some ribs.
  6. Clevelandmo

    Clevelandmo Active Member

    Sep 13, 2007
    Maybe you should try smokin' that tofu next time.

    You can hollow out the hooves with a melon scooper and use them to serive Miso soup or as a container for discarded edamame pods.
  7. pettyfog

    pettyfog Well-Known Member

    Jan 4, 2005
    Mo... I just thought it would be fun to apply some pure 'pettifoggery' to the subject. Overly complicating a routine preparation. sorta like Irwin Corey might have. And Rube Goldberg WOULD have.

    Everything I wrote however was based on physics, applying a vacuum to a closed container will release air in a submersed cell based object. since it's submersed, the air cannot get back in and the liquid replaces it. applying pressure then forces more liquid in.

    Note the ref to how the center core of pressure treated lumber tastes different than 'regular lumber'. Get it?

    The PROBLEM with going to that extreme measure is not specified. I added to that by suggesting using a tenderizer mallet on the tofu burger. Think about it. If the patties didnt come out of the pressure chamber as mush, the malleting would finish the job.

    The alternative NOT specified: just buy Boca Burgers and sprinkle on seasoning to taste. And dont forget the crispy bacon!
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