Football and the missus

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by andyns, Mar 20, 2008.

  1. andyns

    andyns New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2005
    Location:
    Halifax, Canada
    Just wondering how much football you folks have to sacrifice to keep the wife happy? My brother's live-in girlfriend cut him down to one game a week, that's something I could never do.

    Last year I ended a relationship after 2 years, football was one of the divisive issues.

    Now I've been seeing a girl for about 5 months. She wants to go visit her parents this easter weekend, a 6 hour drive away. I said no. I told her I work all week, I enjoy my weekends, a lot. I watch football all day, and I drink a case of beer at night with my buddies. That's what I do, I've been doing that since I was 18. And I don't fancy meeting parents or doing long drives.

    She wasn't happy with that, called me immature and selfish. I felt like Paul on Fever Pitch, except we're in a relegation fight, not a title race. I probably am being selfish, but I'm 25, not married and no kids, don't I have the right to be selfish?

    My guy friends say, tell her to deal with it or hit the road. My girl friends, say I'm a jerk.

    Post-script- teaching in Canada is great sometimes, storm day today because freezing rain is 'threatening.' 5 day weekend.
     
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  2. bearzfan4lfe

    bearzfan4lfe New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2008
    Location:
    DeKalb, IL
    Andy that is an absolutely fabulous quote that made me laugh my ass off...and I agree with you. Fortunately for me, I do not face the same issue.

    Last night a situation came up where my girlfriend texted me this "want to watch Enchanted tonight?" I replied by saying the Hawks are on...she knows what that means...

    She's a ballerina and still a senior here at NIU so she can usually find a friend or something else to fill her time while I watch sports...The only time she gets angry at me for watching sports is when I get angry at my team and start breaking things or swearing really loudly...

    Not good I know, but I'm passionate about all things Chicago and Fulham...It has gottent to a point where she actually watches the games I watch so she will know what kind of mood I am going to be in for the rest of the day/week/month depending on the importance of a game.

    So my situation isn't as tough as yours because I usually get to do what I want, and yes I agree with your stance on not driving six hours during a Saturday filled with football and the NCAA tournament...women know this and they test you, which pisses me off...done.
     
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  3. bearzfan4lfe

    bearzfan4lfe New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2008
    Location:
    DeKalb, IL
    RE: Re: Football and the missus

    Great thread by the way...
     
    #3
  4. Clevelandmo

    Clevelandmo Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2007
    RE: Re: Football and the missus

    You have to be willing to sacrifice something in a relationship, but I think everyone here will agree that it should not be Fulham vs Newcastle live on FSC
     
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  5. EricD

    EricD New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2007
    Location:
    Newport Beach, CA
    I think you are walking on a mine field. You have basically drawn the line in the sand, and she is either going to stay with you or not. If she stays, then she knows what she is getting into. Just know, she is going to be miserable, and everyone of her girlfriends, and female family members are going to know what is happening. They will advise her accordingly (things we do not understand, things we will probably never understand as men).

    My wife asked me the following question a couple of months ago:

    "What is more important, soccer or what I want to do?"
    I did not answer and she walked away. How in the hell do I answer that one without taking a beating? Like they said in Goodfellas, "Sometimes you have to take a beating."

    I think the DVR has solved a lot of potential issues. I end up avoiding the internet and any other news if I tape a game so I can watch with just as much excitement (which will happen again this weekend against Newcastle).

    I think you are going to have to get her into the game. Buy her a shirt or scarf, point out the handsome guys (I know my wife likes Beckham, C Ronaldo, JP Angel, F Torres, Totti, the pretty boys, etc...). You gotta do what you gotta do. It has taken some time, but now my wife will watch with me. She gets excited during US matches now asking when the ref is going to call the obvious fouls. Things are much better. She buys shirts for our son, etc...

    The thing is I remember being 25, drinking beer until early morning, hanging with my buddies and watching games. I never had a long term girlfriend at that time probably because I was immature, selfish and broke most of the time.

    I do not know if that helps, but good luck.
     
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  6. Martin-in-Nashville

    Martin-in-Nashville New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2005
    Location:
    Smyrna TN
    Hey Andyns your a single man living like a married one it sounds, do what you want to do that's my advice, if you get married your screwed so put your foot down watch the footie and tell her go see your parents, been there done that it dont work when your married but your not.

    Good LUCK!


    COYW's
     
    #6
  7. FFCinPCB

    FFCinPCB New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2006
    Location:
    Santa Rosa Beach, FL
    Unless "She's the One", Fulham First.
     
    #7
  8. bearzfan4lfe

    bearzfan4lfe New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2008
    Location:
    DeKalb, IL
    Eric, good points...that's what I do, I say "Ooooh look there is Bocanegra, or Kaka, or Ronaldo, you think he's cute remember?"...

    Unfortunately I no longer have DVR or FSC and now have to go to bars or a buddies place to catch the games...convenient no, but one less sport my girlfriend has to put up with...

    And in my often retarded opinion:

    God, Fulham, Family, Country...
     
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  9. SoCalJoe

    SoCalJoe Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2006
    Location:
    Walnut, CA
    Re: RE: Football and the missus

    Spot On.

    Bottom line, if sports is an important part of your non-work life your significant other must be either included or like it also. If not it will only become divisive. You never know, my father-in-law likes to drink beer and watch sports too, and if the girl is cool more than likely her folks are also.

    Just out of curiosity, when did she mention this road trip?
     
    #9
  10. HatterDon

    HatterDon Moderator

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Location:
    Peoples Republic of South Texas
    Next month, we'll have been married 31 years. HatterMom understands not only my fandom, but also the irrational joy/optimism/doom/depression that arises from a football match played on a different continent by people I don't personally know.

    We have only one television set in our house, and so it really teaches you how to share. She digs cooking shows; I dig sports. She enjoys sports -- especially football -- but only watches when I don't have a rooting interest because she gets more bent out of shape than I do. The extreme emotions that sport causes her isn't good for her, so she tends to stay in the other room when I'm watching. She has the Dempsey jersey you saw in my recent avatar, plus a PIPEX Bocanegra shirt. She knows the players names, their nationalities, when they arrived, and always comes in to see cool replays, but she stays out of the room when games are on.

    Here's this coming Saturday for us: She'll go off to the gym around 9 or so in the morning [if we're off or we play on Sunday, I go with her], I'll watch Fulham and, if I'm in a good mood afterwards, probably check out some of game 2. She'll wait patiently until I'm fed up with it, and then will come the cooking shows on the Public TV. If I get fed up early, she'll look for old movies on TCM.

    It's not necessary for your mate to sit next to you at every sporting event, although she was right by me at all the SA Thunder [old NASL] matches and is still when we check out a SA Missions game, as well as at our occasional trips to Houston for the Astros. What IS important is that she/he recognizes that there is merit in having an irrational love for something that, to most people, is meaningless. What people on this site have for football and for Fulham is not logical, it's emotional. Believe me, the last thing a thinking woman should want, Andy, is for you to ignore the illogical, emotional impulse that leads you towards devotion.

    Rent a copy of Diner, and show her the scene where the chick has to pass a quiz on the history of the Baltimore Colts in order to marry this guy. Then tell her, "Hey, I'm a lot more evolved than that dude. You're lucky I'm not him."

    We're NOT that guy, right?

    Uh right?
     
    #10
  11. andyns

    andyns New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2005
    Location:
    Halifax, Canada
    RE: Re: RE: Football and the missus

    Monday, when I was watching Brum-Newcastle, which didn't help things.

    I guess, like everything in life, it's all about priorities, and I've put football (and beer) ahead of her. If she's a girlfriend, I think that is ok, if she is a wife, probably not.
     
    #11
  12. bearzfan4lfe

    bearzfan4lfe New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2008
    Location:
    DeKalb, IL
    RE: Re: RE: Football and the missus

    ...Also they (our significant others) have to understand that sports is an escape from everyday life...If I had a shitty week, well Sunday when the Bears are on for three hours that is all I have to think about, a simple football game.

    And an escape from everyday life also includes an escape from the girlfriend for a few hours to watch Fulham play, much like her shopping or cuddling.

    I actually prefer a girl who knows nothing about sports and only begins to care about it because she sees how important it is to me and my life...that's why my current girlfriend and I work out so well, she gets it.

    And if sports is your way of getting away And, it is important you find a girl who understands that...remember,

    God, Fulham, Family, Country...
     
    #12
  13. EricD

    EricD New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2007
    Location:
    Newport Beach, CA
    RE: Re: RE: Football and the missus

    My wife plans around my games on Sunday mornings. She knows that I need to play, and I will argue and argue not to miss. I hate missing games I play because it is one of those things that I need to do.
     
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  14. andypalmer

    andypalmer Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2007
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    RE: Re: RE: Football and the missus

    After 13 years of marriage, my wife and I have started to work things out. One Saturday a month, I get with my friends; one Saturday a month she gets with hers (we have 3 kids so it matters). For soccer games, I can usually watch one on Saturday with no problem; if I can't see that one I want live, then I DVR it and watch it later. I'm one of the lucky people who can know the score and still enjoy watching a game for the first time.

    My only obsessive behavior happens during the World Cup - in 2006, I took off the first 2 weeks so that I could watch all of the group stage games (and I mean ALL of them...). She and my kids were SICK of soccer at the end of it, but it's only once every four years, right?
     
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  15. SoCalJoe

    SoCalJoe Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2006
    Location:
    Walnut, CA
    Andy; sounds like you two are just dating, and aren't in a serious relationship. In your defense, that kind of road trip probably should have been brought up a few weeks ago.

    If beer is a priority over her than the there's an obvious answer to PCB's earlier post.
     
    #15
  16. jmh

    jmh New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2006
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    Huh. I guess being single works out pretty well for me here. 8)

    Really, though, I think AmericanMike found the best solution.
     
    #16
  17. ChicagoTom

    ChicagoTom Administrator

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2004
    Location:
    Chicago
    When it comes to sports my wife lets me do what I want and need to do. She lets me watch games whenever and do whatever I need to do for my teams. Whether that be staying up late for a west coast Warriors game or getting up early for a Fulham match she is always cool with me supporting my teams.

    In fact, she even cheers for my teams with me. It is nice to have her on board cheering for Fulham or the Phillies or any one of my teams.

    The key though my friends is to not take advantage of a situation. As mentioned my wife allows me to do what I want with sports but at the same time I would like to think I am good to her and we go places and do things she likes to do or we watch tv shows that she likes when games are not on.

    Like all things in relationships there is give and take involved. If you play your cards right though and find a nice girl like I have, you will be able to watch as many sporting events as you want. Someday when we have kids it might be a different story though.
     
    #17
  18. quickdraw

    quickdraw New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    I am lucky and have found a girl who understands my need for soccer. I don't really follow any other sport aside from the Steelers, so this is my release. I don't drink or go out, so this is it. I play on my base's Sunday League team, coach young girls and go to as many Crew games as possible.

    In the beginning I basically told her of my love. I even took her to the US v Venezuela friendly in Cleveland to show her the game. she's taken a real liking to it and tries to follow it as much as she can, but she's still a novice. She's a great gal.

    But as Tom said, it's a give give. I always try to be interested in her things as well and it has been a good 2 years.

    And yes, I did break up with a girl once after she said "soccer is a dumb sport". I knew right then and there it wouldn't work.
     
    #18
  19. BarryP

    BarryP New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2007
    Location:
    Evansville, Indiana
    Tom it sounds like we married like-minded ladies. My wife over the years has adopted my sporting teams and tried to learn the sports. She understands my sporting adddiction and I understand her need to watch television detective shows and House.

    As Tom so sagely mentioned the key is not to take advantage and remember if you want to take sometimes you have to give also. Perhaps Easter at your girlfriends house is highly important to her. As you said you are single and not compelled to do anything but do try and keep in mind that she is also single and not compelled to do anything including ever seeing you again. So the question boils down to how important is she to you?
     
    #19
  20. bearzfan4lfe

    bearzfan4lfe New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2008
    Location:
    DeKalb, IL
    I'm not sure if this will get us completely off topic, and perhaps should be brought up in a different thread...but what the hell is it about the reality love shows with the freaks of the earth that women love so much, or horror movies, or cooking shows...

    In my sports/history/discovery channel world I just don't quite understand it...

    ...at all.

    My top five most hated shows that I must endure to watch my stuff, keep in mind this could easily be a top 50...

    5. That's Amore/Rock of Love/Flavor of Love/VH1

    4. Bad Girl's Club

    3. Paranormal State

    2. Some stupid ass show where they design cakes

    1. Intervention
     
    #20
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