I'm Back

Sorry, I have had a rough summer that involves a lot of bad decisions. I have been in and out of the hospital thanks to anxiety attacks and depression along with problems with opiates. What I haven't told everybody before is that I suffer from depression and anxiety and unfortunately, started using drugs to try and cure that. It started with prescriptions, Xanax and Klonopin and went to opiates.

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit better and hope to post more often. Both of these mental disorders are no fun to deal with and I have been dealing with it for years. This summer, it has been worse than others. I hope nobody thinks less of me, but this is why I haven't been posting much.

 

Welcome back!

 

Thanks guys. I have been trying to get help. I have dealt with depression and anxiety since I was 12. I didn't admit I had a problem until last year, right after I turned 25. Luckily, I found an amazing friend who is helping me through everything. I know some people don't think much of these disorders, but they can be dangerous to the point where you're trying to commit suicide, something I tried this summer. I'm looking for help that doesn't involve a bunch of pills, though. I notice many therapists just want to place you on an antidepressant and Xanax and call it solved. I hate that. But that's a whole other post.


I wouldn't be against turning this into a post about depression and anxiety and people's stories, if anybody else suffers from it. I notice that talking about it helps the most. I would love to raise awareness towards this sort of thing since many are shocked that their happy friends are often found in a suicidal position, whether they succeeded or not is not the point. Maybe talking about it can help anybody else on here with themselves or their friends and family.

 

I hope you find the support you need Justin. Welcome back to the site and I am glad to have you back.

 

Thanks, Barry. Hope to have many more debates with you. Cheers.

 

We're all thankful that your back Justin, you've been missed, and sorry this summer has been an especially tough one for you. It takes a lot of cajones to speak frankly about your situation, so you've got my respect. Hang in there and I believe you're on the right path in looking for solutions that doesn't involve pills. Don't ever hesitate to reach out for help or if you need a forum to express yourself, you have one here.

 

Welcome back Justin, glad to have you back

 

Welcome back. I echo the sentiments above. One side of my family has an extensive history with mental disorders/chemical imbalances ranging from anxiety and panic attacks to manic/depressive to you name it. We've had our fair share of alcoholics as a result...and some other addictions. You never have to worry about any judgment from me, my friend. Glad you are able to talk about it and are getting some help. You are right, it's not fun.

 

Very glad you are back Justin. I missed you. I also admire you for being so candid with us all about why you've been away, and like Matt, you will get no judging from me. My husband and I each have brothers who struggle with bipolar disorder so I understand first hand how real mental illness is and I have had a couple of episodes in my life when I was clearly depressed. I can very much relate to wanting to deal with your depression without pills and am a big believer in questioning a doctor's treatment if you are not comfortable with it. In those types of situations, the patient often knows best. Psychologists cant prescribe medicine so maybe you should consider going to someone like that for any professional help you decide to seek. Just because it is a real illness, doesnt mean it has to be cured or managed with drugs. Glad you have a friend who is supportive about this all.

 

You're among friends here. Darn near family, given our numbers. And I suffer from depression as well. So here's hoping you are past all the trouble, and are on the correct path, treatment wise. Think less of you? Bloody hell. Think MORE of you for dealing with it proactively. And yes, talking about it DOES help.

Welcome back, and STAY back. We need you here to commiserate.

 

Thanks guys, this means a lot to me. I have been trying to get help since March and had a therapist. But she dropped me for some reason and I haven't been able to find somebody in my price range. I had to quit my job because the panic episodes were too much and the zoloft gave me suicidal thoughts. My friend is going to try and get me help and a job. She has really been there for me. This summer has went from bad to worse, but I hope to change that with this new job and such. I'm not going to let this defeat me.

 

Best of luck, Justin! I went through bouts of depression in the mid-nineties.. got all sorts of therapy... including clinical. Went on Paxil which simply gave me manic bouts to add to it. Then #@#$$ prescribed that I needed to go on Lithium. Idiot didnt even recognize Paxil side effects.

At that moment I relaized it was mainly in my own hands and shortly after, even dropped the paxil after I had a short episode of delusion.

I have no other advice to give you other than to hang in there and know you can beat it.. and dont despair when you have a bad spell.

PS: That was in 95 at the beginning of the 'interwebz' The best thing that happened to me was when search covered 'newsgroups' and I found there was a huge number of people with the same problems. I mainly lurked but the idea that it was in our own hands helped a lot. As did reading really sad pleading by some whose very life was threatened by mis-prescription of Maoi {or whatever}.

Read, read read and read some more.... may help. Again best wishes!!!!!

 

Good to see you back Justin, and happy to hear you're doing better. I'll echo what others have said; even if it's just to vent, this forum and its members are here for you.

 

Welcome back, VJ, and all of the above comments are echoed here.

 

Welcome back Justin. I'm impressed and admire you for being able to face your problems and talk about them. I know I have many problems that I don't have the courage to face head-on on a daily basis. Your story can serve as an inspiration to many, so thanks for sharing. As has already been mentioned on this board, I think you know by now that you can always find support here!