Reality slapped me in the face

Old timers to this site will remember my signature including a website and Facebook page for The Tim and Bob Show. Somewhere on this site is a loooooong thread promoting T&BS CD Take It Outside. The band consisted of my, my wife Hatter Mom, and another couple -- Steve and Kathy.

The band broke up a few years back, but we keep getting called back periodically for a "special appearance." We were scheduled at church for the last Sunday in September. Our monthy theme is "love." We were going to do two duets and one of our most requested 4-parters -- "My Girl." Last night, I was over playing some stuff with Steve when Kathy walked in and helped me get a vocal straight for a song I was developing for my solo act. She was quick and funny and pitch perfect -- as usual.

While I've had my heart adventures, and ML has had problems in several areas, and Steve has murderous llergies every year, Kathy has always been relentlessly healthy. She is NEVER sick and is always moving -- until this morning.

This morning she complained to Steve that she didn't feel well. Within an hour she was dead. She was the youngest of the four and absolutely nobody saw this coming. Those of us of a certain age begin preparing for the worse gradually -- especially when one of us is very ill. Steve never had this opportunity and is shattered beyond description. One of Kathy's daughters is about a month from childbirth. We took them some food and did a lot of hugging, but some things can't be fixed.

Forgive me for this, but Kathy and Steve are family and so are you guys. If you're one of the eight or so people who bought my solo CD, Kathy is the one doing the hysterical description of the surgery in the "Knee Replacement Blues." She also sings the end of "Other Peoples Children."

Good bye my wonderful friend. It's been great to know you.

Thanks for letting me ramble on. Back to football.

 

I'm very sad to hear you lost a good friend Hatter. I echo Micah's condolences, she sounds like a wonderful, kind soul that will be very much missed. My deepest sympathies to her family and friends.

 

thanks folks ... we're a good family here

 

And time for a follow up. Life goes on, as it always does. I decided that the best way I could cope with the loss of my friend was to be there for her husband Steve. After telling me quietly on day one that he couldn't imagine ever playing music again, I said that if and when he changed his mind, I'd be there. Well, first he asked me to consider filling in for four winery commitements in October and I said I would. We began practicing together and each time we did Steve got more into it. Now we're talking about gigging going forward and getting a web page and like that. We're doing our first "new" material in more than five years.

He still shatters at the memory of the things they accomplished together, but he recovers more quickly. He's taking Kathy's place in the babysitting department, and there's now another grandchild. His daughters have been amazing in how they've helped them. Hatter Mom and I do what we can as well.

So, life goes on. We're playing music together and I'm doing my solo work. Where Steve crumbles at a memory of Kathy, I go from disbelief to anger rapidly. I keep most of my rage inside, but I haven't yet accepted the reality that we could all be deprived of this wonderful person -- friend, daughter, wife, mother, grandmother, actor, singer -- in just a few minutes in SOMEBODY's moment of caprice. And then I go and pick up my guitar and play music with my friend.

Oh, we DID go ahead and play at church last Sunday. Somehow Steve managed -- hell, he brought the house down. If you're a Facebook friend of mine, you can see our "surprise" postlude -- not exactly churchy, but a truly cathartic moment.

Life does, indeed, go on. Thank you all so much for your care and concern. I just wish you could have met Kathy.