How The Cottage Saved English Football

*** by The Equalizer ***

One day football was walking down a street in the centre of London when a giant spaceship landed by him. Lots of tiny egg-shaped aliens popped out of the spaceship and started to surround football.
Suddenly they all started chanting "Ka Mate Ka Mate Ka Ora Ka Ora" and looked threatening in their black shirts. Football started to get worried.
The little egg-shaped aliens carried on this chanting and the ground began to shake. The spaceship opened up once more and a giant egg-shaped alien with a black shirt on appeared. It's face was a mask of evil, it's eyes as fire!

Football was really worried now. "What are all these little egg-shaped beings doing?", he thought. "Particularly that large egg-shaped Jonah Lomu looking fellow."

The giant egg-shaped beasty stepped forward, hands as large as a bunch of bananas clenched in fists. The ground shook wildly beneath it as the beast strode on towards football. The fire in it's eyes blazing.

Football had now soiled himself. He wondered why this giant creature was bearing down on him of all beings? What had football done that was so wrong?

As if reading his mind the giant creature spoke. It's voice like thunder against a calm morning. "You sold out!".
Football sh!t himself once again.
"You sold out! You alienated the supporters! You put primadonnas on pedestals! You are the cause of your own destruction and I am the hammer that will fall to complete it. I AM RUGBY!!!"

The piss spilled down footballs legs into his boots, dampening his quivering toes. "this is the end", he said quietly to himself.

All of a sudden there was a rush of wind and a noise like surging water. Looking around, football saw an enormous wave rushing towards them crowned with a bright white light. It was like light and darkness all as one. Black and white. On the crest of the wave was a banner that was visable from the end of the road.

The wave surged forward and swept over all of the tiny egg-shaped chappies. The thing on the crest of the wave flew down and grabbed football in it's warm arms. The giant of Rugby was finished.

After a time, the waters settled once again. There was no sign of the egg-shaped beings, or the space ship. All that was left was a calm flow of a new river on the edge of a large park. Four large stands surrounded the shaking football and it's saviour.

"Who are you?" cried football?

"I am The Cottage. I have a purpose, and it is to save football"

The End.

 

Welcome back. Only 2 weeks??? Seemed much longer. Wasn't the same without ya.

As far as the story, well let's just say some people had a fair amount of down time on their hands.