helpful suggestions for posting on the offal

fixed your post..

Otherwise, nailed!

 

I thought about posting on the offal once or twice but I get enough irrational, circular logic from my own children.

 

12. Be sure to mention something distinctly American, especially a food item, so that you can prepare for the barrage of insults that mostly amount to a not so clever way of calling you a Fat American.

13. Use the word "soccer" in the same sentence as pointing out your experience playing or coaching. To most of them, that will completely cancel out any knowledge of the game you thought you may have had.

 

14. Find a way to work in your opinion that the American league is somehow on the level of Conference.

15. Try to imply you would never watch a local {US} team until they buy enough quality players to make them worthy of your attending games.

 

16. Be boring and predictable.

 

17. The Larch (or just completely highjack the thread) :wink:

Great List Don. It's part of the reason I've never posted there.

 

Reminds me of some forums I moderate on deviantART. I swear there has to be some sort of asshat school on the internets that I don't know about.

Just be glad you don't have to deal with 4chan.

 

dude....was dying when i read that list!!! good one Don

 

18. Use either a totally non-descript subject line, like 'Who is...' so no one has any idea and they have to click to find out.

OR

make it totally misleading so as to draw the reader in so you can put up your point, as in:

One Name to replace Mcbride: Josmer Altidore

Of course the concept is ridiculous for at least five reasons but you get to tell everyone who has short term memory problems just how great the kid is going to be. Throwing in the reference to McBride keeps it 'On-topic' ...in your own mind anyway.

 

19 When selecting a username, somehow find an iteration of FulhamTILLIDIE that hasnt been used yet.

Difficult but the most successful pre-pend either a location:

SwazilandFFCTILLIDIE

or a personal demarcation of some sort:

IMONLY6BUTIMTHEWORLDSBIGGESTFULHAMFANTILLIDIE

- - - - -- - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - -

Yes... that's a good summary of 14 and 15, also 12 and 13... hmmm just about all of them... I guess that's what this thread's about!

:twisted:

 

This is a great thread.. thanks, Don!
Come on... there have to be a few more. Then we -or better- DON will pick the best 15 or twenty and post it on the FAQ

 

20. When questioned about your loyalty to FFC, remind everyone that you are the world's biggest Fulham fan because your aunt's neighbor once stood in line behind <insert any Fulham player > once.

Coolness by association - always worked in high school!

 

I am sure you can only post on the offal if you hear it from a mate in a pub who knows someone who works/worked for the club.

Well played Don!

 

Spot on. Though I've seen some of his quotes be a bit longer. I couldn't help but to laugh when I read a page of his quotes.

 

You forgot ' accuse anyone who posts anything remotely positive of wearing rose coloured spectacles'.

Not that I'm paranoid or anything :big grin:

 

So, what do you all think of Kasey Kellor? He's an American--why would we want another one of them? Why didn't we go after Van De Sar or Cech? I remember the good old days when Coookie was the manager.

BTW, we got hosed against Boro last Saturday. I saw the replay and I think it might have gone over the line. Does anybody else want to talk about that game?

IVEBEENAFULHAMFANFORYEARSANDYEARS(5)FFCUNTILIDIE!

 

This thread is great....i am crackin up here. You might also get called a "tosser" or a form of "tosser" if you post anything positive as well. What is a "tosser"??? Maybe i should call some one a "puddwacker" just to make them wonder what a "puddwacker" is.