Chuck Norris Style FFC Jokes

Sitting at home with an overactive mind, I have thought that Chuck Norris jokes could be modified to idolize our beloved Whites i.e.

You know how superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas? Well, Chuck Norris wears Brian McBride pajamas.

Jumping over skyscrapers, running around the world, and saving the earth from incoming asteroids. These are all things Clint Dempsey does before he even wakes up.

When Jim Bullard kicks a free kick he doesn't kick the ball, he simply moves the pitch so the ball goes in the net.

Can you think of any others?

 

David Beckham is training with JB at Motspur to sharpen up his skills.

 

David Beckham is training with JB at Motspur to sharpen up his skills.

 

Chris Baird approached a team in Conference 2 about signing him. The team in question was managed by a witch doctor that supported Chelski. He sent him to Fulham.

 

...

 

I am thoroughly confused by pettyfog and ian's last few submissions and after Bullards last free kick I will submit the following...
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Jimmy Bullard has to use a stunt double when he misses free kicks.

Jimmy Bullard is the reason why Petr Cech wears headgear.

Guns don't kill people. Jimmy Bullard free kicks kill people.

The leading causes of death in the UK: 1. Heart Disease 2. Jimmy Bullard Free Kicks 3. Cancer

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Jimmy Bullard free kicks out of goal. It failed miserably.

Jimmy Bullard's golden locks can cure cancer.

There is in fact an “I” in Jimmy Bullard, but there is no “team”… not even close.
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That's all I got for now, time to watch the Champions League...hope that's what you were looking for Ian...

 

You don't watch Eddie Johnson run in real time. You only see the light that left Eddie Johnson 20 minutes ago.

You don't cut Brian McBride. Brian McBride cuts himself to let you know he doesn't need blood.

Clint Dempsey destroyed the periodic table because on the pitch Clint Dempsey only recognizes the element of surprise.

Jimmy Bullard free kicks are the reason Waldo never hides in the net

It's not the Premiership. It's the Niemiship.

 

bearzfan, I believe petty fog was saying beckham trained with Jummy Bullard at Motspur (aka fulham's training grounds) to get better. If you already knew all that then the explanation was pointless. As for my last one, Chris Baird consistently scares a lot of us when he is in the lineup so I used my creative license to explain as to why Baird was at Fulham.

 

Andreasen can play keepy up without touching the ball.

 

Check Norris tried out to be a Centre Forward at Fulham, but was told he wasn't tough enough.

 

I'm still confused and sorry for posting almost the exact same thing twice earlier, but I'll make up for it with another good one...

It was a Jimmy Bullard free kick that knocked down the Berlin Wall, effectively ending the cold war.

 

Simon Davies doesn't play for Wales. Wales plays for Simon Davies.

 

...I like your Where's Waldo line boston, classic.

 

wow boston, you have some great ones. theyre better than i can do.

 

When you're Jimmy Bullard, anything + anything = one. One brilliant free kick.

 

Heh. These are a good laugh, guys! Keep 'em going--I needed that today. I'm too sick to contribute...

 

Ack! Double post. Jeebus--food poisoning even disrupts my computer-fu. :?

 

Hellen Keller's favorite color is David Healy.

 

sorry Ian, I finally looked at urs and Pettyfog's posts...pretty good stuff...I'll come up with some more during work tomorrow...

 

Glad to hear it and look forward to the new jokes.