WHITE Witch Humour

For those that do not visit the offal:

WHITE witch | Posts: 1742

Security update, please note:

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
Threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."

Soon though, English security levels may be raised yet again to
"Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the
blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists themselves have
been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance!." The last
time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance!" warning level was during the
great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised
its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated
by a recent fire that destroyed France's white-flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.


It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level
of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly &
Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain in
Italy: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful
Arrogance" To "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."


Belgians on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the
only Threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new
Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

 

Didn't think we'd get a 'report' until August, so what a great surprise to read a preseason rendition. The lady adds a touch of class on top of the rapier's wit no matter the site (Seagulls, Vulcans, and Bears Oh My).

 

Heehee. It's like The Onion except English.