How to Turn Things Around

Well this is totally absurd: http://www.fulhamsw6.com/default.asp?section=info&page=michaeljackson001.htm

No way that MJ statue is going to help things. That's just silly. The true way to turn things around is get Daniel Radcliffe in some blockbuster movies. We all know correlation equals causation so you can't deny these facts!

1. Radcliffe is the most famous Fulham supporter (unless you believe in the delusion that MJ was)
2. In 2001 Radcliffe rockets to international stardom by appearing as Harry Potter. That same year Fulham wins promotion to the Premier League
3. In 2010 Radcliffe achieves the pinnacle of his success with the release of the series finale "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows". That same year Fulham achieves the pinnacle of its success by appearing in the Europa League final
4. In 2013 Radcliffe languishes with little attention following the release of "Horns" and "What If". That same year Fulham languishes under Martin Jol
5. In 2014 Radcliffe has no movies released. That same year Fulham is relegated.

Clearly we need to turn Radcliffe's career around to turn Fulham around. We must all go see Victor Frankenstein when it comes out! Who's got about $1 billion to throw at some movie tickets? It is our only hope!

After all of this I'd like to remind you of today's date.

 

MM, I beg to differ. I'll take Hugh Grant over Daniel Radcliffe any day. We need to get Hugh some new roles in some new Oscar worthy flicks. Or at least get him back together with Andie MacDowell or Julia Roberts in something. Or at least Martine McCutcheon. The man hasn't been in anything noteworthy since Cloud Atlas in 2012, and that was an ensemble cast of people like Tom Hanks, Halle Berry and Susan Sarandon. He's playing Alexander Waverly in the film reboot of the 60's TV series, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E" that's due out in August. Maybe THAT'll be the hit that gets Hugh back in the spotlight and our beloved Whites back up to the Prem!

Yeah, right.

 

I blame Lily Allen

 

We supposely also claim Pierce Brosnan, Pope John Paul II, Tony Blair and one Alan Pardew, which, if true, why haven't we approached the latter about becoming our manager? He's won promotion once as a player and twice as a manager (Reading in '02 and West Ham in '05).

 

It's time to turn this conversation to a more serious tone after today's loss to Brentford. Let's start from some givens: 1) We aren't going to be relegated again this season. 2) We're still trending downward, and for an ever lenghthening spell now. 3) The status quo is not acceptable, and more, major changes need to be made.
Let's start with some questions based on these givens, which, of course, you may feel free to challenge. What do we need to do to become competetive in the Championship? As CC mentioned in the match thread, we were ill prepared for life in the second tier. What is the answer? And what must we do to contend for promotion? The current path does not appear to be it. Someone needs to figure out what happened when Kit went from caretaker to permanent manager. Our best recent form was during his spell as interim. Since then, it's been all downhill again. A brief glimmer of hope and then, boom, it just blew up in our face. I think we've documented pretty well here in other pages when the downward spiral began. As I've stated a few times previously, I'm highly suspect of Khan's ownership, given his brief history with the Jags. If we have to wait until he decides to jettison the club to someone else, it could get much, much worse. I hope that doesn't happen, but I'm not optimistic, based on his short stewardship of FFC. So what needs to change? If the club's current form doesn't do a 180 between now and the end of the season, I'm afraid a massive front office shakeup is in order. The last thing we need is another managerial change, but it might be a foregone conclusion. And honestly, I'm not sure at this point that Kit's the right man to lead us into next season. If he goes, a lot of other folks over him need to as well. But again, given Khan's pro sports team ownership history, who would replace them? I'm not optimistic he'd bring in the right people. And even thought the status quo is not acceptable, it could conceivably get worse. I'm looking for the silver lining here, but I don't see it.

 

Daniel Radcliffe is playing Igor in the upcoming Victor Frankenstein movie, an unusual casting to be sure, but to get back to the original vain of the thread it's time to play the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon (where every movie of the last 50 years can be connected to Bacon within 6 films) with Fulham's would be savior:
1) Radcliffe was of course the title character in the Harry Potter movies. Sir RIchard Harris played Professor Dumbledore in the first two installments before his passing.
2) Harris played English Bob in the iconic Clint Eastwood movie Unforgiven. Morgan Freeman also featured as William Munny's best friend Ned Logan.
3) Freeman might be best known (how he didn't win the Oscar for it is a mystery) for his amazing performance as Red in the Shawshank Redemption. The most important relationship in the movie is Red's friendship with Andy played by Tim Robbins
4) Robbins plays the tragic character Dave Boyle in another great Eastwood movie Mystic River. Boyles childhood friend Sean Devine grows up to be a detective for the Boston PD. The actor who played the adult Sean….Kevin Bacon.

 

So you're saying we need to sign Aron Johannsson?